Expectations...

So I was talking to a friend concerning human relationship, one of the topic that popped up was the act of being shallow. Its true, everyone wants something that's nice, a friend once said "2 car side by side, one being a beat up junk, one is a Ferrari, I am sure everyone will choose the Ferrari". Sad, but true. Everyone is shallow, and yes its nice to have pretty and nice thing. But, the question is can you afford it?

A lot of people seem to have overlooked affordability and expectation. Plenty of people out there wants a Ferrari but can only afford a Civic (yes I love picking on the Civic). But they don't actually just "WANT" it, they think that they can actually GET it for that price.

Second example, a real story: A friend of mine (Lets call him Tom) was in the market looking for a house. I didn't know at first, he came back telling us this story. I still can't wrap my head around what he was thinking. He started looking around, found an open house around the Post road area, one of those three garages home. Walk in, talk to the sales agent, looked around. The house was listed for $700K. He made an offer of $350K, obviously, they turned down that offer, the sales agent was pretty upset with him for wasting their time. Tom called us out complaining and said "I was being serious, I don't think the house worth 700K". Ok, so it doesn't worth 700K, but I would imagine it worth at least 600K then? Dude, you are offering half of what they wanted of course they won't sell it to you! Tom won't stop complaining and said he can only afford 350K. Well HELLO? Were you smoking something good to even have the guts to step inside the house with only 350K? You have courage man..... Unrealistic? Seem so

Yet another example: My friend's brother (Ken - Alias only) graduated college 2 years ago. Found a job as a junior programmer after, still a Junior programmer. Got upset with the company for not promoting him after 2 years. Started applying outside of the organization, he was applying for Team Leader and Manager roles. Didn't get a single phone call. An agent contacted him, presented an opportunities for a Programmer (Not junior, just Programmer), he got upset and was half yelling at the other side. Let see, you have 2 years of work experience (in the IT field, it take at least 3 to move up each level), and you want to jump at least 3 level while you yell at people who is helping you to find a job.. you are lucky you actually HAVE a job now with that attitude. Do you even know what you have and what the outside world is asking for? You might as well apply to be the CEO of IBM, I don't think you need a lot of brain to fulfill that task anyways, so you may qualify... c'mon, start thinking with 1/4 of your brain and you will know that

I somewhat think that human relation is almost the same way. How we treat people and how much we can offer others around us is a direct reflection of what to expect from others. The act of being shallow is not just shallow, its also selfish. The "overly high" expectation is pretty much - I will give you this much, but you have to give me THIS MUCH.

Now when I say "Shallow" and "Expectation", its not just the appearance I am referring to, but it can be bit and pieces of another human - Appearance, character, personality, wealth, health etc. I am not suggesting that relationship needs to be a fair trade, but your expectation needs to be realistic.

Ask not what others will look like, or what others can do for you... but what you have to offer and willing to offer, then you will know what you should be asking for......

Bride's Maid and the Maid of Honor

Ok, so the sad reality is that no matter how hot and gorgeous the bride maybe, she is not going to marry the best man. We have established that in my previous post. What about her maids? There is nothing better than talking about the Best Man's counter part. The Maid of honor and the Brides Maid.

One piece of advice I have for all would be Brides - Before deciding on your bridal party, stand everyone, including yourself, infront of a mirror first, anyone that is prettier than you, or have the potential to look better than you after Make Up, these people, OUT.

Since turning 25, the Wedding invitations just PILE my mail box. Being a man with good memory, I still remember every detail to MOST of the Weddings I've attended. And trust me I've seen a lot of things. I still remember one wedding in particular. I am a good friend of the groom, but I wasn't part of the bridal party because I am the MC for the night. Anyways, I've known him since he was dating this girl (His wife now), but nobody really knows the girl too well. She is the controlling type, and as far as she is concern, hanging out with us is a waste of her time. In fact, she think that its a waste of HIS time. I think we met up and hang out with the groom twice for the three years that they were dating.

See here is another thing Ladies, if you are with someone that you think you want to get Married to, its not a good idea to isolate yourself from his friends, or isolate him from his friend. It would suck if you have to get your other ladies friend to dress up as the groom's man and the best man because the poor bastard lost all his friend on your account. It just doesn't work.

So anyways, since I don't know the Bride too well (again, met her twice before their wedding), I don't know any of her friends, and since I wasn't part of the bridal party, I wasn't invited to any meeting. The only thing I was invited to are one on one meeting with the groom to talk about the run down. So, I NEVER met anyone that is part of the Bridal party until the wedding day. What a disaster, had I met everyone before hand, I would have suggested against her choice for her Maid of Honor. The Maid of Honor was a runner up in the 2005 Asian Pageant of Montreal. See, this is not an issue if the bride was the WINNER of the same year, but she wasn't.. far from it. And here is the interesting thing, they decided that EVERYONE will have a white gown.

Here is the problem, it wouldn't be such a big deal we only have one of the two ingredient (A super hot Maid or Honor and the white gown), but when both of them goes together, you are pretty much putting up a comedy show. Imagine this, aside from the people who knows who the Bride truly is, others that walk in to the church saw 5 pretty girl dressed in white, they will assume (pretty good guess I'd have to say) the bride is one of them, and it has to be the prettiest one. So, one after another, walk up to the maid of honor and congratulate her and give her a hug. Can I congratulate you too so that I can tell everyone I hugged a hot gorgeous girl?

With a blushing face, she point to the bride with half her hair and makeup done and said "Sorry, but she is the bride". Good job guys!

Another interesting thing is that, people from the Peagent received professional training on posing, and its not difficult for other photographers and people to notice such great beauty and posing talent, the wedding become the Maid of Honor's personal fashion show! I am willing to bet money that there were more pics of her than the bride herself

So here you go, think before you choose your lineup for your party....

Best man

Not too long ago (well almost 2 years) I was asked to be the best man for a friend's wedding. Check this out, the bride asked me if I can be the best man for her would be husband (at the time), since the dude has no friends here in Toronto (he is from Hong Kong). I've known this girl for ages, she is a decent girl, though the momentary craziness, but nevertheless, a decent girl.

Being the best man is not an easy task, there are only a million and a half things you have to take care of on their behalf: Wedding planning, wedding day run down, restaurant services, photography services, floral arrangements etc etc. Oh wait, was I the one getting married? How come I am doing all this. Now I know why she asked me to do it, its not because he has no friend, but I am the best man alright, the man best for this kind of things.

Its fun and all planning a wedding on someone's behalf. You will find it fun too if all you got was "You have 40K to play with", heck its not my own money, of course its fun. The down side is that your efforts are usually NOT appreciated. Picture this, they told you "You have 40K to play with", so you choose a restaurant, and its not easy, for some odd reason, no matter which restaurant you choose (Chinese of course), its always 1088.88 for a table with similar food. Do you guys have the same owner or soemthing? Or the same supplier? Or is there some underground operation that set out a fix price for these things? Anyways, you go back and tell them "Hey its 1088.88 a table", the first reaction is always "WHAT? Thats expensive!". Exepensive? Didn't you tell me I have 40K to work with? 20 table will cost you 21777.6, and I don't think you have enough friends to occupy 20 tables anyways. So you go back to the restaurant, now they present you something that is 888.88, you go back to the couple, they will now say "The food sucks! 888.88 is too much for this kind of food". Hello, you don't want to pay, but you want good food, you want my mom to cook for you? It will be a lot cheaper for sure. You realize that regardless of how much it is, they will always think its expensive.

Another intersting request is always "Do you know someone that can do this for free". I remeber this couple, they want to get married in a fancy european car. I got them a hook up for a nice Bently, all I said was "I know someone by GTA Limo rental that can get you a Bently..". You are not even done, you see a bright light shooting out of their eyes, so bright that you need a sunglasses, they both asked "Is it for free?" Of course it is, thats why I have 6 of them parked on my driveway... whats wrong with you people? Is it for free, its a Bently, we are not asking for a Civic here, even a Civic cost you 10 bucks a day at Enterprise. Take my 21 speed mountain bike, that will be free...... And check this out, they actually get upset when you burst their bubble "I am afraid not, but he will give you a 50% discount".. "Oh, why are you telling us its a hook up then?".. hmm.. ok, I suppose you want to pay full price. And let me guess, for floral arrangements, I am to bring the bridal party and just pick it from a park, sure thing, anything you want, afterall, I am the best man, will do as requested master! Ok, so I was asked to be the MC as well, there you go, you get something for free.. be happy that I am not charging you for my photography service rate :P

So back to my friend, she always have this Japanese doll type cutenes going on, so you really can't say no to that face. The make up artist (which charge them almost pennies since they bargained her down so much.. er... I was sent to do the bargaining) did a great job to bring the cuteness out even more.. then I start to think "I am the best man, but you are marrying him". Its true, I mean think about it, if I am so good to carry a title as a best man, where are my WIVEs? Then the party begins, she drink, she dance, she drink more.. now she is totally wasted, she laugh, she is tripping and stepping on everyone's toe on the dance floor.. THANK GOD you are marrying him and not me. See, scene like this give you a relief down your back "Oh great, I don't have to deal with this train wrack for the next 40 years"