I am not someone that is easily annoyed by anything. I know what you were thinking "Look at all your post, you are annoyed by something". Well, OK, fine, I am annoyed by other's action mostly, but not event usually, but hey, our action leads to event right?
At some point in my life, I have a friend name Chris (Alias.. yet again). Chris is a real kiss up, a brown nose, he will bend over for his boss. We somewhat noticed this behavior since high school. So just a little bit of background. I was a class clown, teacher doesn't hate me, but I did "conducted" a few experiments in the science lab and the electronics lab that the teacher won't be too fond of. Chris demonstrated the "brown nosing" behavior since then. You know the typical nerd you see in Japanese animate? The one that will join you for all kind of destruction work, then turn around running to the teacher telling him/her that "Yeah, I was with them, they forced me to blow up the transformer". That's the exact kind of people Chris is.
Chris is pretty much the last person on earth that I would expect to come to my aid. I still remember an incident a while ago. Ken (one of our commom group of friends) work with Chris in the same company. They pretty much carry the same title, except that Chris has another 3 months on top of him. Being new, Ken wasn't completely cushy towards the work that was assigned to him, as a result he missed a piece of important work. The manager ran and ask him "Where the hell is my report". Ken was ready to leave at that point, he had some personal issues to deal with so he was all packed up and ready to go. And he told the manager "I will try to get it to you by tomorrow". The manager wasn't too too happy, but think that its acceptable so he told Ken "OK, well, if you can stick around for a little and finish it tonight, that will be great, but if not, then tomorrow is fine". Chris found out, ran to the boss and told the boss that "You sometime need to be tough and put your foot down to get your work done, its not fair to us if he get an extra day extension". OK, so fine, it may not be fair, but Ken is new, and he is your friend, WHY??? So their boss ran to Ken, stopped him at the elevator and told him "I want it now"
Through out the years there were numerous similar incident, but this particular incident really annoyed me.
A while ago there was an opportunity for a gathering, I don't hate Chris, hate is a very strong word, just say I "Dislike" him enough that I don't want to talk to him. I am not being rude or anything, I mean, I do say hi to him when I see him and I do answer him when he ask me things. But I will not initiate a conversation, and definitely no "goofy clown me" while in a conversation with him, serious face - We mean business buddy.
THEN, he start asking around "What is wrong with him? Is he OK? I think he is upset at something, but I don't think its me"
Of course its not you, that's why I am normal and goofy around everyone else but you. Do you need me to hurt you to know that I dislike you or upset at you?
If you think about it, people always have justification to everything they do, I mean, will you do something that you believe is wrong? Don't think so. So, I am sure everyone will have some form of justification towards their action and deeds.
I pray to God that Chris will live a long life, its people like him that make this life meaningful, you get something to laugh at......
Friday, November 30, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Brown Nosers
Been a while since I last complained
Ok, so for this one, I am not going to mention any time frame, people will easily figure out who I am talking about otherwise. The kind of "attention" that I really don't need.
I think it’s a good enough "hint" if I tell you this is when I am a QA team leader, which is probably a good chunk of my career.
So at THAT time, there are four other parallel teams that work with me. So, as most logical human would've guessed, yes, there were four other team leaders on the team. We each handle different products, and USUALLY there aren't any conflicts with the work we do. I said "USUALLY" because there is still a very rare, but possible chance that our work MAY collide with each other, but even that is something I would consider as "Niche".
One of the team leader (lets just call him Andrew) always think that he is a senior lead, of course he is, I mean, we have 5 leads, the one that have been with the organization the longest have about 6 months, I have about 3 months, and he is more senior than the other 2 lead by a week and a half. So yeah, he is senior alright... at least, he thinks he is.
He is the reason why I believe that if you lookup words like "Low Self Esteem" or "Male Ego" online, you will see a picture of him. To him, he is handling the biggest project of all and he is always the most important person at work. The fun part is that he lives his own delusion. How did we know this? Andrew is not someone that is shy to be vocal over these things. He TELLS us how busy he is. His favorite line is always "Yea, my project manager doesn't do anything; I have to do everything for them". I wonder if his PM knows that he said that. He does also look very very busy absolutely all the time. He stay late, usually as late as the boss, but then, that’s something that I would expect, since he is always just walking around, I could only imagine how productive he could be while he was away from his desk 6/7 hours he stayed here. Oh, and that hour he was at his desk.. LUNCH... He is really good at putting the other leads (including me) down to make him sound important. Things like "Your project is not half as busy as mine" or "That’s easy, I do that all the time" are not foreign around him.
Anyways, so Andrew is actually an artist in deception. If he was born in feudal Japan, he would've replaced Hattori Hanzo to honor the title of "Top Ninja". He is just THAT good. I mean, he made it just so the whole world does THINK that he is that busy, and he does work that hard. Darn, maybe I do need a lesson or two from him.
About seven years ago, I read a book from decently famous motivational speaker, interestingly he talk about the art to deceive your boss. One of the item that was mention was "Messy desk mean you are busy", "Personal items mean you have great moral". I am almost positive that Andrew must have read this book. You won't see any desk on his desk.. It’s all covered with paper and junk. His cabinet is full of personal items, items that make people think "Wow this guy is really prepared to camp here tonight", not only that, his cabinet got this aura of a horrid stick from old grocery bags and probably lunch from centuries ago.
All that didn't really trigger us off or anything. Until one day, he ran out of ways to show his dedication, or he ran out of things to put down people, he decide to run to the boss and sell us out. Two of my other colleagues/friend, Jessica and Geoff (again, aliases only) are extremely quiet, they are the non competitive type of anything. Jessica didn't have too much trouble with Andrew, except his momentary "almost harassing" behavior. Andrew also seems to get along with Geoff (or me for the matters). So the day comes, when our manager start to delegate different managerial task to us. Andrew's task is to track a few items from all the lead, and is the person supposes to be working with the rest of us to get these items from us. Geoff was under extreme pressure due to a project that was poorly managed, and was not able to provide Andrew with what he was looking for. Guess what, instead of helping or asking Geoff to "Pick up the pace buddy", he ran right to the manager and ratted him out. And that’s not the end of it, he told (and teach) the manager that he should pressure Geoff to get it done.
Talking of screwing your friends over!
Its interesting to see how skill-less people are so skilled at brown nosing.. Of course, they can't do anything else otherwise.....
Ok, so for this one, I am not going to mention any time frame, people will easily figure out who I am talking about otherwise. The kind of "attention" that I really don't need.
I think it’s a good enough "hint" if I tell you this is when I am a QA team leader, which is probably a good chunk of my career.
So at THAT time, there are four other parallel teams that work with me. So, as most logical human would've guessed, yes, there were four other team leaders on the team. We each handle different products, and USUALLY there aren't any conflicts with the work we do. I said "USUALLY" because there is still a very rare, but possible chance that our work MAY collide with each other, but even that is something I would consider as "Niche".
One of the team leader (lets just call him Andrew) always think that he is a senior lead, of course he is, I mean, we have 5 leads, the one that have been with the organization the longest have about 6 months, I have about 3 months, and he is more senior than the other 2 lead by a week and a half. So yeah, he is senior alright... at least, he thinks he is.
He is the reason why I believe that if you lookup words like "Low Self Esteem" or "Male Ego" online, you will see a picture of him. To him, he is handling the biggest project of all and he is always the most important person at work. The fun part is that he lives his own delusion. How did we know this? Andrew is not someone that is shy to be vocal over these things. He TELLS us how busy he is. His favorite line is always "Yea, my project manager doesn't do anything; I have to do everything for them". I wonder if his PM knows that he said that. He does also look very very busy absolutely all the time. He stay late, usually as late as the boss, but then, that’s something that I would expect, since he is always just walking around, I could only imagine how productive he could be while he was away from his desk 6/7 hours he stayed here. Oh, and that hour he was at his desk.. LUNCH... He is really good at putting the other leads (including me) down to make him sound important. Things like "Your project is not half as busy as mine" or "That’s easy, I do that all the time" are not foreign around him.
Anyways, so Andrew is actually an artist in deception. If he was born in feudal Japan, he would've replaced Hattori Hanzo to honor the title of "Top Ninja". He is just THAT good. I mean, he made it just so the whole world does THINK that he is that busy, and he does work that hard. Darn, maybe I do need a lesson or two from him.
About seven years ago, I read a book from decently famous motivational speaker, interestingly he talk about the art to deceive your boss. One of the item that was mention was "Messy desk mean you are busy", "Personal items mean you have great moral". I am almost positive that Andrew must have read this book. You won't see any desk on his desk.. It’s all covered with paper and junk. His cabinet is full of personal items, items that make people think "Wow this guy is really prepared to camp here tonight", not only that, his cabinet got this aura of a horrid stick from old grocery bags and probably lunch from centuries ago.
All that didn't really trigger us off or anything. Until one day, he ran out of ways to show his dedication, or he ran out of things to put down people, he decide to run to the boss and sell us out. Two of my other colleagues/friend, Jessica and Geoff (again, aliases only) are extremely quiet, they are the non competitive type of anything. Jessica didn't have too much trouble with Andrew, except his momentary "almost harassing" behavior. Andrew also seems to get along with Geoff (or me for the matters). So the day comes, when our manager start to delegate different managerial task to us. Andrew's task is to track a few items from all the lead, and is the person supposes to be working with the rest of us to get these items from us. Geoff was under extreme pressure due to a project that was poorly managed, and was not able to provide Andrew with what he was looking for. Guess what, instead of helping or asking Geoff to "Pick up the pace buddy", he ran right to the manager and ratted him out. And that’s not the end of it, he told (and teach) the manager that he should pressure Geoff to get it done.
Talking of screwing your friends over!
Its interesting to see how skill-less people are so skilled at brown nosing.. Of course, they can't do anything else otherwise.....
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Expectations...
So I was talking to a friend concerning human relationship, one of the topic that popped up was the act of being shallow. Its true, everyone wants something that's nice, a friend once said "2 car side by side, one being a beat up junk, one is a Ferrari, I am sure everyone will choose the Ferrari". Sad, but true. Everyone is shallow, and yes its nice to have pretty and nice thing. But, the question is can you afford it?
A lot of people seem to have overlooked affordability and expectation. Plenty of people out there wants a Ferrari but can only afford a Civic (yes I love picking on the Civic). But they don't actually just "WANT" it, they think that they can actually GET it for that price.
Second example, a real story: A friend of mine (Lets call him Tom) was in the market looking for a house. I didn't know at first, he came back telling us this story. I still can't wrap my head around what he was thinking. He started looking around, found an open house around the Post road area, one of those three garages home. Walk in, talk to the sales agent, looked around. The house was listed for $700K. He made an offer of $350K, obviously, they turned down that offer, the sales agent was pretty upset with him for wasting their time. Tom called us out complaining and said "I was being serious, I don't think the house worth 700K". Ok, so it doesn't worth 700K, but I would imagine it worth at least 600K then? Dude, you are offering half of what they wanted of course they won't sell it to you! Tom won't stop complaining and said he can only afford 350K. Well HELLO? Were you smoking something good to even have the guts to step inside the house with only 350K? You have courage man..... Unrealistic? Seem so
Yet another example: My friend's brother (Ken - Alias only) graduated college 2 years ago. Found a job as a junior programmer after, still a Junior programmer. Got upset with the company for not promoting him after 2 years. Started applying outside of the organization, he was applying for Team Leader and Manager roles. Didn't get a single phone call. An agent contacted him, presented an opportunities for a Programmer (Not junior, just Programmer), he got upset and was half yelling at the other side. Let see, you have 2 years of work experience (in the IT field, it take at least 3 to move up each level), and you want to jump at least 3 level while you yell at people who is helping you to find a job.. you are lucky you actually HAVE a job now with that attitude. Do you even know what you have and what the outside world is asking for? You might as well apply to be the CEO of IBM, I don't think you need a lot of brain to fulfill that task anyways, so you may qualify... c'mon, start thinking with 1/4 of your brain and you will know that
I somewhat think that human relation is almost the same way. How we treat people and how much we can offer others around us is a direct reflection of what to expect from others. The act of being shallow is not just shallow, its also selfish. The "overly high" expectation is pretty much - I will give you this much, but you have to give me THIS MUCH.
Now when I say "Shallow" and "Expectation", its not just the appearance I am referring to, but it can be bit and pieces of another human - Appearance, character, personality, wealth, health etc. I am not suggesting that relationship needs to be a fair trade, but your expectation needs to be realistic.
Ask not what others will look like, or what others can do for you... but what you have to offer and willing to offer, then you will know what you should be asking for......
A lot of people seem to have overlooked affordability and expectation. Plenty of people out there wants a Ferrari but can only afford a Civic (yes I love picking on the Civic). But they don't actually just "WANT" it, they think that they can actually GET it for that price.
Second example, a real story: A friend of mine (Lets call him Tom) was in the market looking for a house. I didn't know at first, he came back telling us this story. I still can't wrap my head around what he was thinking. He started looking around, found an open house around the Post road area, one of those three garages home. Walk in, talk to the sales agent, looked around. The house was listed for $700K. He made an offer of $350K, obviously, they turned down that offer, the sales agent was pretty upset with him for wasting their time. Tom called us out complaining and said "I was being serious, I don't think the house worth 700K". Ok, so it doesn't worth 700K, but I would imagine it worth at least 600K then? Dude, you are offering half of what they wanted of course they won't sell it to you! Tom won't stop complaining and said he can only afford 350K. Well HELLO? Were you smoking something good to even have the guts to step inside the house with only 350K? You have courage man..... Unrealistic? Seem so
Yet another example: My friend's brother (Ken - Alias only) graduated college 2 years ago. Found a job as a junior programmer after, still a Junior programmer. Got upset with the company for not promoting him after 2 years. Started applying outside of the organization, he was applying for Team Leader and Manager roles. Didn't get a single phone call. An agent contacted him, presented an opportunities for a Programmer (Not junior, just Programmer), he got upset and was half yelling at the other side. Let see, you have 2 years of work experience (in the IT field, it take at least 3 to move up each level), and you want to jump at least 3 level while you yell at people who is helping you to find a job.. you are lucky you actually HAVE a job now with that attitude. Do you even know what you have and what the outside world is asking for? You might as well apply to be the CEO of IBM, I don't think you need a lot of brain to fulfill that task anyways, so you may qualify... c'mon, start thinking with 1/4 of your brain and you will know that
I somewhat think that human relation is almost the same way. How we treat people and how much we can offer others around us is a direct reflection of what to expect from others. The act of being shallow is not just shallow, its also selfish. The "overly high" expectation is pretty much - I will give you this much, but you have to give me THIS MUCH.
Now when I say "Shallow" and "Expectation", its not just the appearance I am referring to, but it can be bit and pieces of another human - Appearance, character, personality, wealth, health etc. I am not suggesting that relationship needs to be a fair trade, but your expectation needs to be realistic.
Ask not what others will look like, or what others can do for you... but what you have to offer and willing to offer, then you will know what you should be asking for......
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Bride's Maid and the Maid of Honor
Ok, so the sad reality is that no matter how hot and gorgeous the bride maybe, she is not going to marry the best man. We have established that in my previous post. What about her maids? There is nothing better than talking about the Best Man's counter part. The Maid of honor and the Brides Maid.
One piece of advice I have for all would be Brides - Before deciding on your bridal party, stand everyone, including yourself, infront of a mirror first, anyone that is prettier than you, or have the potential to look better than you after Make Up, these people, OUT.
Since turning 25, the Wedding invitations just PILE my mail box. Being a man with good memory, I still remember every detail to MOST of the Weddings I've attended. And trust me I've seen a lot of things. I still remember one wedding in particular. I am a good friend of the groom, but I wasn't part of the bridal party because I am the MC for the night. Anyways, I've known him since he was dating this girl (His wife now), but nobody really knows the girl too well. She is the controlling type, and as far as she is concern, hanging out with us is a waste of her time. In fact, she think that its a waste of HIS time. I think we met up and hang out with the groom twice for the three years that they were dating.
See here is another thing Ladies, if you are with someone that you think you want to get Married to, its not a good idea to isolate yourself from his friends, or isolate him from his friend. It would suck if you have to get your other ladies friend to dress up as the groom's man and the best man because the poor bastard lost all his friend on your account. It just doesn't work.
So anyways, since I don't know the Bride too well (again, met her twice before their wedding), I don't know any of her friends, and since I wasn't part of the bridal party, I wasn't invited to any meeting. The only thing I was invited to are one on one meeting with the groom to talk about the run down. So, I NEVER met anyone that is part of the Bridal party until the wedding day. What a disaster, had I met everyone before hand, I would have suggested against her choice for her Maid of Honor. The Maid of Honor was a runner up in the 2005 Asian Pageant of Montreal. See, this is not an issue if the bride was the WINNER of the same year, but she wasn't.. far from it. And here is the interesting thing, they decided that EVERYONE will have a white gown.
Here is the problem, it wouldn't be such a big deal we only have one of the two ingredient (A super hot Maid or Honor and the white gown), but when both of them goes together, you are pretty much putting up a comedy show. Imagine this, aside from the people who knows who the Bride truly is, others that walk in to the church saw 5 pretty girl dressed in white, they will assume (pretty good guess I'd have to say) the bride is one of them, and it has to be the prettiest one. So, one after another, walk up to the maid of honor and congratulate her and give her a hug. Can I congratulate you too so that I can tell everyone I hugged a hot gorgeous girl?
With a blushing face, she point to the bride with half her hair and makeup done and said "Sorry, but she is the bride". Good job guys!
Another interesting thing is that, people from the Peagent received professional training on posing, and its not difficult for other photographers and people to notice such great beauty and posing talent, the wedding become the Maid of Honor's personal fashion show! I am willing to bet money that there were more pics of her than the bride herself
So here you go, think before you choose your lineup for your party....
One piece of advice I have for all would be Brides - Before deciding on your bridal party, stand everyone, including yourself, infront of a mirror first, anyone that is prettier than you, or have the potential to look better than you after Make Up, these people, OUT.
Since turning 25, the Wedding invitations just PILE my mail box. Being a man with good memory, I still remember every detail to MOST of the Weddings I've attended. And trust me I've seen a lot of things. I still remember one wedding in particular. I am a good friend of the groom, but I wasn't part of the bridal party because I am the MC for the night. Anyways, I've known him since he was dating this girl (His wife now), but nobody really knows the girl too well. She is the controlling type, and as far as she is concern, hanging out with us is a waste of her time. In fact, she think that its a waste of HIS time. I think we met up and hang out with the groom twice for the three years that they were dating.
See here is another thing Ladies, if you are with someone that you think you want to get Married to, its not a good idea to isolate yourself from his friends, or isolate him from his friend. It would suck if you have to get your other ladies friend to dress up as the groom's man and the best man because the poor bastard lost all his friend on your account. It just doesn't work.
So anyways, since I don't know the Bride too well (again, met her twice before their wedding), I don't know any of her friends, and since I wasn't part of the bridal party, I wasn't invited to any meeting. The only thing I was invited to are one on one meeting with the groom to talk about the run down. So, I NEVER met anyone that is part of the Bridal party until the wedding day. What a disaster, had I met everyone before hand, I would have suggested against her choice for her Maid of Honor. The Maid of Honor was a runner up in the 2005 Asian Pageant of Montreal. See, this is not an issue if the bride was the WINNER of the same year, but she wasn't.. far from it. And here is the interesting thing, they decided that EVERYONE will have a white gown.
Here is the problem, it wouldn't be such a big deal we only have one of the two ingredient (A super hot Maid or Honor and the white gown), but when both of them goes together, you are pretty much putting up a comedy show. Imagine this, aside from the people who knows who the Bride truly is, others that walk in to the church saw 5 pretty girl dressed in white, they will assume (pretty good guess I'd have to say) the bride is one of them, and it has to be the prettiest one. So, one after another, walk up to the maid of honor and congratulate her and give her a hug. Can I congratulate you too so that I can tell everyone I hugged a hot gorgeous girl?
With a blushing face, she point to the bride with half her hair and makeup done and said "Sorry, but she is the bride". Good job guys!
Another interesting thing is that, people from the Peagent received professional training on posing, and its not difficult for other photographers and people to notice such great beauty and posing talent, the wedding become the Maid of Honor's personal fashion show! I am willing to bet money that there were more pics of her than the bride herself
So here you go, think before you choose your lineup for your party....
Monday, October 1, 2007
Best man
Not too long ago (well almost 2 years) I was asked to be the best man for a friend's wedding. Check this out, the bride asked me if I can be the best man for her would be husband (at the time), since the dude has no friends here in Toronto (he is from Hong Kong). I've known this girl for ages, she is a decent girl, though the momentary craziness, but nevertheless, a decent girl.
Being the best man is not an easy task, there are only a million and a half things you have to take care of on their behalf: Wedding planning, wedding day run down, restaurant services, photography services, floral arrangements etc etc. Oh wait, was I the one getting married? How come I am doing all this. Now I know why she asked me to do it, its not because he has no friend, but I am the best man alright, the man best for this kind of things.
Its fun and all planning a wedding on someone's behalf. You will find it fun too if all you got was "You have 40K to play with", heck its not my own money, of course its fun. The down side is that your efforts are usually NOT appreciated. Picture this, they told you "You have 40K to play with", so you choose a restaurant, and its not easy, for some odd reason, no matter which restaurant you choose (Chinese of course), its always 1088.88 for a table with similar food. Do you guys have the same owner or soemthing? Or the same supplier? Or is there some underground operation that set out a fix price for these things? Anyways, you go back and tell them "Hey its 1088.88 a table", the first reaction is always "WHAT? Thats expensive!". Exepensive? Didn't you tell me I have 40K to work with? 20 table will cost you 21777.6, and I don't think you have enough friends to occupy 20 tables anyways. So you go back to the restaurant, now they present you something that is 888.88, you go back to the couple, they will now say "The food sucks! 888.88 is too much for this kind of food". Hello, you don't want to pay, but you want good food, you want my mom to cook for you? It will be a lot cheaper for sure. You realize that regardless of how much it is, they will always think its expensive.
Another intersting request is always "Do you know someone that can do this for free". I remeber this couple, they want to get married in a fancy european car. I got them a hook up for a nice Bently, all I said was "I know someone by GTA Limo rental that can get you a Bently..". You are not even done, you see a bright light shooting out of their eyes, so bright that you need a sunglasses, they both asked "Is it for free?" Of course it is, thats why I have 6 of them parked on my driveway... whats wrong with you people? Is it for free, its a Bently, we are not asking for a Civic here, even a Civic cost you 10 bucks a day at Enterprise. Take my 21 speed mountain bike, that will be free...... And check this out, they actually get upset when you burst their bubble "I am afraid not, but he will give you a 50% discount".. "Oh, why are you telling us its a hook up then?".. hmm.. ok, I suppose you want to pay full price. And let me guess, for floral arrangements, I am to bring the bridal party and just pick it from a park, sure thing, anything you want, afterall, I am the best man, will do as requested master! Ok, so I was asked to be the MC as well, there you go, you get something for free.. be happy that I am not charging you for my photography service rate :P
So back to my friend, she always have this Japanese doll type cutenes going on, so you really can't say no to that face. The make up artist (which charge them almost pennies since they bargained her down so much.. er... I was sent to do the bargaining) did a great job to bring the cuteness out even more.. then I start to think "I am the best man, but you are marrying him". Its true, I mean think about it, if I am so good to carry a title as a best man, where are my WIVEs? Then the party begins, she drink, she dance, she drink more.. now she is totally wasted, she laugh, she is tripping and stepping on everyone's toe on the dance floor.. THANK GOD you are marrying him and not me. See, scene like this give you a relief down your back "Oh great, I don't have to deal with this train wrack for the next 40 years"
Being the best man is not an easy task, there are only a million and a half things you have to take care of on their behalf: Wedding planning, wedding day run down, restaurant services, photography services, floral arrangements etc etc. Oh wait, was I the one getting married? How come I am doing all this. Now I know why she asked me to do it, its not because he has no friend, but I am the best man alright, the man best for this kind of things.
Its fun and all planning a wedding on someone's behalf. You will find it fun too if all you got was "You have 40K to play with", heck its not my own money, of course its fun. The down side is that your efforts are usually NOT appreciated. Picture this, they told you "You have 40K to play with", so you choose a restaurant, and its not easy, for some odd reason, no matter which restaurant you choose (Chinese of course), its always 1088.88 for a table with similar food. Do you guys have the same owner or soemthing? Or the same supplier? Or is there some underground operation that set out a fix price for these things? Anyways, you go back and tell them "Hey its 1088.88 a table", the first reaction is always "WHAT? Thats expensive!". Exepensive? Didn't you tell me I have 40K to work with? 20 table will cost you 21777.6, and I don't think you have enough friends to occupy 20 tables anyways. So you go back to the restaurant, now they present you something that is 888.88, you go back to the couple, they will now say "The food sucks! 888.88 is too much for this kind of food". Hello, you don't want to pay, but you want good food, you want my mom to cook for you? It will be a lot cheaper for sure. You realize that regardless of how much it is, they will always think its expensive.
Another intersting request is always "Do you know someone that can do this for free". I remeber this couple, they want to get married in a fancy european car. I got them a hook up for a nice Bently, all I said was "I know someone by GTA Limo rental that can get you a Bently..". You are not even done, you see a bright light shooting out of their eyes, so bright that you need a sunglasses, they both asked "Is it for free?" Of course it is, thats why I have 6 of them parked on my driveway... whats wrong with you people? Is it for free, its a Bently, we are not asking for a Civic here, even a Civic cost you 10 bucks a day at Enterprise. Take my 21 speed mountain bike, that will be free...... And check this out, they actually get upset when you burst their bubble "I am afraid not, but he will give you a 50% discount".. "Oh, why are you telling us its a hook up then?".. hmm.. ok, I suppose you want to pay full price. And let me guess, for floral arrangements, I am to bring the bridal party and just pick it from a park, sure thing, anything you want, afterall, I am the best man, will do as requested master! Ok, so I was asked to be the MC as well, there you go, you get something for free.. be happy that I am not charging you for my photography service rate :P
So back to my friend, she always have this Japanese doll type cutenes going on, so you really can't say no to that face. The make up artist (which charge them almost pennies since they bargained her down so much.. er... I was sent to do the bargaining) did a great job to bring the cuteness out even more.. then I start to think "I am the best man, but you are marrying him". Its true, I mean think about it, if I am so good to carry a title as a best man, where are my WIVEs? Then the party begins, she drink, she dance, she drink more.. now she is totally wasted, she laugh, she is tripping and stepping on everyone's toe on the dance floor.. THANK GOD you are marrying him and not me. See, scene like this give you a relief down your back "Oh great, I don't have to deal with this train wrack for the next 40 years"
Friday, September 28, 2007
Office Politics and invisible competition
I would assume that everyone, some point in their life, was accused of doing something that they never did. But have you ever been involved in a competition without knowing it? I have.
When I first started doing leadership/management work years ago, I had a colleague - Joseph. There were 6 people (including myself) reporting to my manager, and each of us manage a small team of people, about 20 people. Both Joseph and myself were new to this whole leadership/management role, but I had the advantage of doing minor project coordination and project management from previous opportunities.
I can't say for sure I was doing any better than Joseph, but my year-end review suggest that I was a bit better than Joseph. How did I know this? Well, the man came to me and told me "I got Meet Expectation, what did you get?" I didn't tell him, but I got "Exceed Expectation"
Anyways the poor dude eventually find out that the other five of us all got a better rating. He wasn't very happy at first. We all know what happened. But here is where the nightmare starts.
Our manager LOVEs to delegate his task to us. He is only good at drinking beer and munching on those KFC. But since this incident, he doesn't need to delegate anything to Joseph anymore. The dude would volunteer to absolutely anything that the manager brings up. There were tasks that was assigned to me, Joseph would tell the manager that "Godwine is busy as is, I can take on that for him" Eventually, its to a point where i have to defend myself and say "I am not that busy, I can manage it." There are tasks that we are suppose to work on together, but he refuse to even let me take part in it.
The competition is not just against me, it was against other people as well. The six lead used to be really close to each other, we would join for lunch and coffee together, but since the review, Joseph start to isolate himself from us. He tends to take any opportunity to put down others. He once told Wendy that "Your work is nothing, you don't have much to do"
Why, oh WHY am I surrounded by people who only like to act intelligent? Its really strange how some people want to feel important and better than everyone else. See, there is one cool thing about the human race - we could never accept the fact that everyone have different skill sets, or someone is just better in some specific area.
This have somewhat led to the discussion of "right" and "wrong". If you think about it, who set the rules to what is right and what is wrong? HUMAN.. yes.. WE... and how did we do that? Its almost a case of majority rules. Ok, the law aside, which is (you'd like to think) well analyzed and planned out. But in general. People tend to judge what is acceptable and unacceptable in society, this judgement is based on what is the general view of the public. You are consider wrong because you are doing things out of the norm or out of what the society think is acceptable.... ok, so this should clarify the concept of "Perspective" and "Point of view"
Back to our topic of Mr "I am the best" Joseph. You see, if someone is really far superior and better than everyone else, their behavior, action, mentality should also be more superior than everyone else right? Hence different. But wouldn't this make them deviate from the rest of the population and make you an outcast?
The one thing that we LOVE about Joseph is his ability to act. I am telling you, if anyone is to get nominated for the Oscar for office behavior, it will have to be him. Words like "I love my job" and "I love this company" is pretty much the forever famous Joseph quote, BUT at the same time, every now and then, he will bring up the topic of job search and its easy for him to find a job, and he don't planned on staying for a long time, and the fact that he has a million degrees under his sleeve (ok, I am exaggerating, he has 2.... ).. blah blah blah.. the list go on and on.
At the end of the day, we are responsible for our own action and the choices we make, this include the responsibilities to handle enemies we built for ourselves. Good luck Joseph, I am just going to play the modest nice guy role. I have a lot of friends, but I do want more.. you never know when others will be ahead of you, and what they can do to you.....
When I first started doing leadership/management work years ago, I had a colleague - Joseph. There were 6 people (including myself) reporting to my manager, and each of us manage a small team of people, about 20 people. Both Joseph and myself were new to this whole leadership/management role, but I had the advantage of doing minor project coordination and project management from previous opportunities.
I can't say for sure I was doing any better than Joseph, but my year-end review suggest that I was a bit better than Joseph. How did I know this? Well, the man came to me and told me "I got Meet Expectation, what did you get?" I didn't tell him, but I got "Exceed Expectation"
Anyways the poor dude eventually find out that the other five of us all got a better rating. He wasn't very happy at first. We all know what happened. But here is where the nightmare starts.
Our manager LOVEs to delegate his task to us. He is only good at drinking beer and munching on those KFC. But since this incident, he doesn't need to delegate anything to Joseph anymore. The dude would volunteer to absolutely anything that the manager brings up. There were tasks that was assigned to me, Joseph would tell the manager that "Godwine is busy as is, I can take on that for him" Eventually, its to a point where i have to defend myself and say "I am not that busy, I can manage it." There are tasks that we are suppose to work on together, but he refuse to even let me take part in it.
The competition is not just against me, it was against other people as well. The six lead used to be really close to each other, we would join for lunch and coffee together, but since the review, Joseph start to isolate himself from us. He tends to take any opportunity to put down others. He once told Wendy that "Your work is nothing, you don't have much to do"
Why, oh WHY am I surrounded by people who only like to act intelligent? Its really strange how some people want to feel important and better than everyone else. See, there is one cool thing about the human race - we could never accept the fact that everyone have different skill sets, or someone is just better in some specific area.
This have somewhat led to the discussion of "right" and "wrong". If you think about it, who set the rules to what is right and what is wrong? HUMAN.. yes.. WE... and how did we do that? Its almost a case of majority rules. Ok, the law aside, which is (you'd like to think) well analyzed and planned out. But in general. People tend to judge what is acceptable and unacceptable in society, this judgement is based on what is the general view of the public. You are consider wrong because you are doing things out of the norm or out of what the society think is acceptable.... ok, so this should clarify the concept of "Perspective" and "Point of view"
Back to our topic of Mr "I am the best" Joseph. You see, if someone is really far superior and better than everyone else, their behavior, action, mentality should also be more superior than everyone else right? Hence different. But wouldn't this make them deviate from the rest of the population and make you an outcast?
The one thing that we LOVE about Joseph is his ability to act. I am telling you, if anyone is to get nominated for the Oscar for office behavior, it will have to be him. Words like "I love my job" and "I love this company" is pretty much the forever famous Joseph quote, BUT at the same time, every now and then, he will bring up the topic of job search and its easy for him to find a job, and he don't planned on staying for a long time, and the fact that he has a million degrees under his sleeve (ok, I am exaggerating, he has 2.... ).. blah blah blah.. the list go on and on.
At the end of the day, we are responsible for our own action and the choices we make, this include the responsibilities to handle enemies we built for ourselves. Good luck Joseph, I am just going to play the modest nice guy role. I have a lot of friends, but I do want more.. you never know when others will be ahead of you, and what they can do to you.....
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Planning/building/sustaining your career...
I recently met a new "friend" on the GO train. We started talking almost a week ago when he first started at RBC, he asked me direction and I told him "I work there, I will walk you". So anyways, he is about 50 years old, migrated from Iran 7 years ago, a Chemical Engineer who ended up in the IT field. He has a son and a daughter. The daughter is 23, the son is 25. Both in their second year of university. He was telling me that he keep asking his son to "Finish up school and find a job". I remember a conversation with someone else not long ago, it was along the line of the same thing. It slowly occurs to me that the 18-25 group are extremely laid back. Being oblivious and naive seems to be the latest greatest trend. The idea of self enhancement, knowledge or reading a damn book seems so foreign to them. Half of these people, have a dream, a dream of being someone, being rich, but they don't do anything that will help them achieve this dream
I have a friend - Marvin, who is somewhat similar. Marvin lived a good life, rich and capable parents. Never have to worry about anything. If he has no money, he goes home and ask for more. He is 24, has a job. A job that pays fairly well, but definitely not a job you want to keep for life. There are opportunities to move up in his field, but he never did anything about it. He complain a lot about his job. He also have big dream, and unrealistic expectation. Why unrealistic.. well just say, he keep looking for opportunities that he does not qualify for.
Heck, Marvin doesn't even know if he want his career or not. Every time any of his friend talk about getting some kind of professional certification (not in his field), he will always say "Yeah maybe I should do that too". "Maybe"? How about MAYBE you should concentrate at what you are doing and be good at it and climb up? You didn't even finish college, be happy that you are in an engineering firm doing entry level work.
But the sad truth is that, he is not the only person that exhibit this behavior. MANY people of that age group shows this. I was talking to a couple of fresh graduate engineers when I was working in the high tech sector. 90% of them didn't want to be an engineer, 100% of them didn't know what they were getting in to or if they are want to do engineering work. It was "Whatever accept me and sound cool in university". This thought is especially dangerous in the Engineering and Medical field. Imagine an engineer designing an elevator who said "Whatever works the easiest" or a surgeon telling you that "I don't know, but whatever is the easiest way to do your bypass".
Looking back 5 years ago - When I was 25, the people my age group and around me did NOT think this way. Everyone had an established career and know what they want in life, 80% of us try to go back to school to enrich ourselves.
Notes to married couple, if you are going to bring your kid up to be a parasite to the society, stop... we have plenty of these people now, and its absolutely disgusting....
I have a friend - Marvin, who is somewhat similar. Marvin lived a good life, rich and capable parents. Never have to worry about anything. If he has no money, he goes home and ask for more. He is 24, has a job. A job that pays fairly well, but definitely not a job you want to keep for life. There are opportunities to move up in his field, but he never did anything about it. He complain a lot about his job. He also have big dream, and unrealistic expectation. Why unrealistic.. well just say, he keep looking for opportunities that he does not qualify for.
Heck, Marvin doesn't even know if he want his career or not. Every time any of his friend talk about getting some kind of professional certification (not in his field), he will always say "Yeah maybe I should do that too". "Maybe"? How about MAYBE you should concentrate at what you are doing and be good at it and climb up? You didn't even finish college, be happy that you are in an engineering firm doing entry level work.
But the sad truth is that, he is not the only person that exhibit this behavior. MANY people of that age group shows this. I was talking to a couple of fresh graduate engineers when I was working in the high tech sector. 90% of them didn't want to be an engineer, 100% of them didn't know what they were getting in to or if they are want to do engineering work. It was "Whatever accept me and sound cool in university". This thought is especially dangerous in the Engineering and Medical field. Imagine an engineer designing an elevator who said "Whatever works the easiest" or a surgeon telling you that "I don't know, but whatever is the easiest way to do your bypass".
Looking back 5 years ago - When I was 25, the people my age group and around me did NOT think this way. Everyone had an established career and know what they want in life, 80% of us try to go back to school to enrich ourselves.
Notes to married couple, if you are going to bring your kid up to be a parasite to the society, stop... we have plenty of these people now, and its absolutely disgusting....
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